Working with Parents
Working with parents in the special education process can go several different ways. The parent can be supportive of the teacher, they can be indifferent to the journey or they can be a thorn in the teacher’s side. So how do we help build the rapport necessary to make the parent a true supporter of the process? And allow for support of a parent’s journey through the special ed process?
Well, I think the best place to start is by communicating with parents. And I’ve done just that with my friend Elaine Krift. She is a parent of a child with autism and is BCBA certified. I had the pleasure of having Elaine’s son in my class a few years ago and having her support made a world of difference. She sat down and shared with me a parent’s journey through the special education process.
Advocating for the Child
One of the biggest things that any parent wants is to see their child successful and happy. This often means that the parent has to turn into hard-core advocate for their child. Elaine shared that she and her husband knew early on that something was going on with their son. But, because he did not meet all the official check marks of needing services it took some time to get a diagnosis. The pediatrician wanted to wait and see what happened after some time. Because Elaine and her husband pushed they finally got in to see a specialist.
We have to remember as educators that our ultimate goal is for the same child to grow, whatever that growth looks like. We need to advocate, just like the parents, for what is best. But we also need to advocate for the parent’s voice to be heard.
Try Not to Think Long-Term while Still Thinking Long-Term
Elaine explains that there are so many thoughts that go through a parent’s mind when a huge diagnosis is given. Even though you often expect it, hearing the words is incredibly overwhelming. You don’t want to think overthink the future and all the “could have beens”. It is a rabbit-hole that leads to nowhere. However, you do have to think about your child’s future and making sure that they get the support that they need to have their own version of success.
As educators we can make sure that goals are reachable, but stretch the student. We can look ahead based on the growth that we have already seen. We can help parents focus on the things that are right and good instead of comparing a student to his peers. This is one of the best supports we can offer on a parent’s journey through the special ed process.
It Takes a Village to make it through the special ed process
Raising a student with a disability can make any parent question their worth. There are really hard days. Elaine shared her own mom-guilt and was incredibly vulnerable about the days where she didn’t think she was good enough on this parent’s journey through the special education process. However, hearing from the village that supported her son that she was doing a great job and that he was okay made such a difference for her. “For kiddos that need a little extra, the parents need a little extra too.” Sometimes simply listening and letting the parent know that you are a part of their village is enough for today.
Communication Matters
As I have already said, the best way to build rapport with parents is to communicate. When I had Elaine’s son in my class I made sure that she always knew what was going on. We talked about what kind of day he had and the good and the not so good things that occurred that day. Sometimes it was a phone call but sometimes it was a simple check mark in his agenda. The communication does not have to be time-consuming, but it should be consistent.
Sharing Techniques…in Parent Terms
If you find something that seems to be making a difference for the child in the classroom, you need to share that technique with the parents. This will allow them to focus on something similar at home. The reinforcement is so beneficial for the child. It also can help the parent find some success when working with their child. The key thing here is to remember that you need to explain the technique in “parent terms”. This means we can’t use the big technical words of the special education world. Parents don’t always have the knowledge to understand those because they don’t live in the same world as us each day.
Just Be Supportive of a parent’s journey through the special ed process
If you truly want to make a parent’s journey through the special ed process easier, just be supportive. It really is that simple. Stay positive and listen, help where you can and be honest where you can’t . If you want to hear my full conversation with Elaine, listen to Episode 86 of Be the Exception Podcast. You can learn so much from her and her perspective.
And while you are visiting the website make sure to read through some of the other blogs. Each one is there for you!
